After Everything I been through I was thinking I’ll start dating when I am sixty.which is only eleven years for me and my middle will be 22 and my youngest a teen. However curiosity killed the cat! This dating app kept coming up so I thought I try it. It was a ego boost after not having a long saturated kiss in almost three years. So I put in all my photo shots and can believe twenty people are liking my shot. Wow it is like u go on a date w twenty people at once if you dare. I found myself becoming enameled by one person there was a tingling sensation going through myself. Even souls miles away without seeing each other can have a real attraction? The others seemed to be just getting through the nights boredom. It is so addicting writing back and forth yet I never have time for this when my kids are at home. So I let myself take a chance at being accepted and some telling me I am pretty. *(I need this after being beat up emotional for year, my scars run deep in self appreciating)
Then I had to go home it was like I was outside on a real date and my phone was dying. I told the person I would talk them when I got home but I plugged in My phone and took a break I did real life things I needed to do . Take a shower call some friends. When I turned the phone back on they left the site. It is funny how it hurt I really missed this person we made a connection yet I will never have contact again. My friend said to leave it, there will be others. I don’t want to cyber stalk anyone but I do miss this person. Then here go again... another’s person to think about their needs. Is it worth it ? For a kiss?this time I want to suspend the physical moment stretch it out. To have that kiss.
I think for now these are the lessons I learned. It is too much to take on...it was fun like having that first hang over twenty years ago, but for me I just don't need to drink that much and I don't care for horrible headaches. I don't even drink caffeine. So whomever wants to be with me I won't find them at a bar or coffer shop. So a dating app seems the thing to do since these people are not physically in my home and bothering our lifestyle. However: it takes time to look at your phone or computer and constantly send texts. I just don't want to do it. The other hardship in dating this way are people you like are miles away! Sure they made my ego puff up after 70 likes, but hey it is like they are all on another planet, if they're more than fifteen miles away.
I don't drive and I am happy with my lifestyle and my kids have gotten use to this is the way mommy does it. So I am not going more than fifteen miles away to meet anyone. The more I think about the complications of being married to people who were manipulators and mind extractors, it is a wonderous miriacle I have given it a thought to date this species called human.
I have talked to my single mom neighbors. We are an amazing cool breed. Books you know those old fashion things. Plenty of them out there on fantasy life. Fantasies. It seems everyone wants one and wants you to be it. Especially on Dating Apps. I need a real kiss. Not a bunch of freaky stuff and all of this is fine. I want to keep it real I need time to paint not text. I need to keep control of my life for my children and my work I have to do. It is hard. I give up alot, because I care and right now I just kissed my own hand because it feeds me and takes care of me, I kiss me first. Maybe if I just keep seeing what those other likes saw in me it could be a brighter future for that kiss from someone else.